Recovering Apple Pro Apps from ProKit 6.0.1 update

Apple, where do I send the invoice to cover the last 8 hours of my life?! Apple, bless their cotton socks, released an update (ProKit 6.0.1) for their "Pro Kit Framework" which basically broke all of the "Pro" apps on my laptop. I cannot say definitively that this is the cause, but it certainly appears to have been the case for me. This article outlines what I did to get my life back.